I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
