she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I need a beard to bite.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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