if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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