is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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