I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
