he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
