so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
