I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
