I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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