very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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