she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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