Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
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