Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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