We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
