this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
