Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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