I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Mom said you looked used
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
