How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
