Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
