whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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