He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
