but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
