Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
