Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
