I just cut my nipple shaving
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
