we have officially lost it.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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