You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
