Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
