My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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