Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
