Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Im part way to drunk.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
