It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
