Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
