I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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