i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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