Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize