I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize