I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize