Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
