He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
