I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
