Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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