Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
