But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
