Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
