somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
