If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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