just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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