so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
