Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
