i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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