So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
