we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
