This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
