I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
