She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize