Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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