quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
