Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize