They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
