I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize