Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
