the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
