And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
