you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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