At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
