Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
