and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
4 words: hood of his car
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
