there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You're like the curious george of whores
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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