Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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