i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
