there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
