sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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