you didnt know i had herpes?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize