at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
they need to just BURY HIM!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
