And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
