That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
