Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
