apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
