Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
