escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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