My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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